he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize