i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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