And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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