just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
