I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I would fuck him just for his dog
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
