Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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