Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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