Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize