If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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