woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
