is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
