even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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