I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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