I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
