Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize