What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
