Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
