I'm lost and stupid without you.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
