Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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