He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
