You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize