Cold hands, warm shart.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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