No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he thought i was a dude.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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