He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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