i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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