I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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