You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
