So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
