just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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