D3 body, D1 cock
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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