Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
