i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How does one acquire holy water?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
