But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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