Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize