is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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