happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize