The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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