i just had sex bonerless
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
