Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The feeling are messing with the penis
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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