ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize