I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
