On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
you made out with another girl for some wings
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize