I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
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