direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
