I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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