I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He passed out mid-signature
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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