If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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