would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
