She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
