I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
