..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
