can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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