I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
