I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
