Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
