i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
