if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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