Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
