You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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