where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
