i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
