so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
