windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
