I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
