my soul wont recognize me after tonight
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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