I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
